New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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