I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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