I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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