never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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