i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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