And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize