I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize