Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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