What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize