Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize