It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
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you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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