It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize