Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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