I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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