Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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