So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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