He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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