The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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