so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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