my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize