Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
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The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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