He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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