A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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