direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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