Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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