Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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