Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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