We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize