We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
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he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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