i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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