non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize