I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I didn't notice because vodka
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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