I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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