ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
In America we eat man semen.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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