oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
its liver damage thursday
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize