Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize