she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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