Welp...herpes.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize