PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize