My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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