I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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