do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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