Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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