I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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