Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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