Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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