Nicole vs. Life
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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