she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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