just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize