Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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